i'm a writer. other stuff too.
There was this time in history when I discovered a fantastic idea. I planned out blog posts, wrote thousands and thousands of words in both of my novels, and was on fire. Like, almost literally.
Today I realized that being consistent and planned and structured and organized is just SO. NOT. ME.
So I am going to continue to blog. I’m not going to feel like a failure because I stopped for awhile. This is an important decision. For awhile there, I wasn’t motivated, I had no inspiration. And I almost stopped writing on here because I knew I had failed. January was an empty month where not much got accomplished. But at the same time, the months before, I accomplished more than I ever had before.
Life is ebb and flow. Nothing is consistent and perfectly timed. Not in the natural world. People aren’t naturally like this either. Instead, we force ourselves to be. My epiphany, though, is that for some reason people crave this consistency. I’ve read over and over that to have a successful blog, you have to post consistent material. Not only does this mean that the content has a similar theme, but it also means that the information you put out there should be posted on certain days, every week, at the same time. This is frequently touted as one of the best ways to have a successful blog.
Well, for one, I don’t care that much about success. I want people to read my blog, sure. But I want readers to like the material here because it portrays who I am, and it appeals to a part of them. Not because I want to be popular or hit a certain number of likes and followers. I could care less about that.
I also know that as an artist that writes for other artists (which, by the way, is everyone, ever, but that is a topic for another time), I have to be true to my artistic self. Some people may be able to force material, but for me, it comes out dry and just …..so so lame. I mean, why put something out there that isn’t a good portrayal of me? Whatever is published is out there, seemingly for all eternity. I don’t want my name associated with the kind of dribble I am capable of coming up with. I only want to put my best thoughts forward.
Of course, that doesn’t mean everything on my blog is fantastic material that will blow readers away. But it is all accurately my voice. And that, I think, it the most important thing.
So while I will continue with Write A Picture Wednesdays, don’t be surprised to find one show up on a Thursday because I missed a Wednesday, or on Monday, because I am too excited to wait. I don’t want to be strict and predictable. To me, predictable is boring. I am random and spontaneous, and keeping myself open to adventure is how I keep my spirit alive! It’s how I stay creative. And I know other creatives know what I am talking about.
Life goes on forever. Ideas that were being formed a thousand years ago have been thought again and again. Expounded on, disproved, rediscovered….it’s how our earthly lives continue, long after our bodies die. Ideas can be dangerous. They can be liberating. They can be portrayed through pictures, paintings, poetry…scribbles from children, formulas from physicists. This is how our lives continue upward and onward, toward the horizon, until it all melts into one thing. Time. And nothing people have ever created has been consistent.
Once upon a time, I almost gave up. I almost listened to what Internet told me equaled success. Then I realized, there is no greater success than being who I am, and doing my own thing. That’s it. See where it takes me. The road less traveled, the desire of my soul. Reaching up and up and up, so far out of reach, into the beautiful, glorious unknown.